Decisions
by Amaya Shinkuyoake
Summary: My most recent completed work. After the final battle against Dark Star, Filia has some thinking to do. (F/X)


Decisions Decisions  
  
It was late, and everyone else had gone to bed, but Filia was still up, sipping at a cup of tea and staring into the fire. She had tried to go to sleep, but it was a futile effort, sleep just wouldn't come, she had too much on her mind.   
  
She swore she could see their faces in the flames, the faces of those who had died. Her clan was dead. There were, of course, other clans to whom she could go, but after all that had happened, all she had seen,she wasn't sure she could live among them…and she certainlycouldn't raise Val, an Ancient Dragon, in a community of his formerkillers.   
  
And finally, there were those words. Spouted in the heat of the final battle, she had no idea of what impulse had been behind them, and she still didn't understand the thrill that passed through her upon hearing them. They kept repeating themselves in her head, over and over…   
  
"That's the Dragon I love!"  
  
What could he have meant?  
  
When she closed her eyes to try to sleep, it only intensified, and with her eyes closed, she could see his face as well, see the smile…but then, he often smiled. If only she knew for sure…  
  
Filia took another slow sip from her teacup. Tomorrow everyone would be splitting up, going their own ways, and likely she wouldn't seethem again for some time, if she ever saw some of them again ever. And HE was the one most likely not to keep in touch.  
  
"You should be in bed, little dragon girls need their sleep, you know."  
  
HIM! What was HE doing here?  
  
"Just go away Xellos. It's none of your business whether I get sleep or not, and I'm trying to think. The last thing I need is you distracting me and keeping me from what calmness I have found."  
  
"But I'm not here to distract you, I'm here to tell you a story."  
  
Filia rolled here eyes, but she was too tired and confused to work up her usual ire toward him. "A story?" she sighed, resigned.  
  
"Yes, a very old story. When the Mother of all was creating this world, She made many races, but chief among them on the side of Order were the Shinzoku and Ryuuzoku, and on the side of Chaos, She put the Mazoku,closest to Herself in their makeup, only lacking in Her understanding. Later, though, She became enamoured of the idea of Humans, a race with noinnate magic, and no inborn affiliation to either Dark or Light; a combinationof Order and Chaos and the true children of Her heart. With the Mother's focus on Humans, the Mazoku became jealous, and vowed to hunt and deceive the Humans in any way they could. Slowly, the former children of Chaos drifted toward the darkness, their jealousy over the Humans poisoning their hearts, until they became blackness itself. Before their light faded completely, however, one of the Greater Mazoku spoke a prophesy. Atime would come, she said, when the world would face a great threat fromabove. One would come who was tainted, possessed of both Light andDark, and his goal would be the destruction of all. Only by the combinationof the powers of Light and Dark, passed through a Human who wielded the powerof the Mother Herself, could the threat be defeated…"  
  
Filia's gasp interrupted his story. "You knew? This whole time, you knew!"  
  
"You had your prophesy, I had mine, it's just that mine was a little bit clearer, that's all," Xellos explained. "Now here is where the story gets interesting. There is more to this prophesy than most know, a part kept secret for thousands of years. It is said that the Tainted one is tainted NOT because of the mixture of Light and Dark, but because of the anger and hatred which caused the merging. It is vital, therefore, that he be opposed by two within whose hearts reside the seeds of…" Xell choked slightly, "the seeds of love. Only through love may he be truly defeated. When the threat is gone, those who defeated him shall usher in a new era, which shall see a new race emerge, successors to the true mantle of the Mazoku race."  
  
"W…w…" Filia was too stunned to come up with anything coherent in response to this enlightening bit of information.  
  
"That was about my reaction when my Master told me the second halfof the prophesy as well," Xellos smiled. "She had summoned me, and I feared a severe reprimand for certain of my actions over this last assignment, but instead she smiled, congratulated me, and told me about the second half of the prophesy." He took a deep breath. "Filia, there's something you need to know. When I said before that the Mazoku race had succumbed to Darkness, I was generalizing a bit. There are those among us who are not truly evil, and my Master is one of them…and since I am created of her thought, so am I."  
  
Filia blinked dazedly at him, and he chuckled. "This is an awful lot to be laying on a tired little dragon girl at this time of night, isn't it."  
  
"No…no, I just don't understand something. If you're not evil, then…"  
  
Xellos shook his head. "I never said I wasn't evil, I only said I wasn't totally evil. You were going to ask how I could do the things I've done, weren't you? Regardless of whether I have a conscience, I follow orders, Filia, and if those orders involvekilling, I kill."  
  
"And if those orders involved killing me?"  
  
Xellos opened his eyes to look at her, and there was a haunted seeming in them. "Pray we never have to find out," he said. "Although it's not likely to ever happen," he chuckled,and the mask was back on, "my Master likes you, she says you have spunk,and I have to agree."  
  
Filia blushed, although she wasn't quite sure why. "Xellos, I know I'm tired, so I'm not reacting as I normally would, but you seem different tonight. Is something wrong?" she asked.  
  
Are you actually worried about me, little Dragon?" Xell teased. "No, I'm fine. As you said, it's late, and I've been doing a lot of thinking. Dark Star seems pretty thoroughly vanquished, does he not?"  
  
Filia nodded  
  
"And neither one of us is going insane…"  
  
Filia laughed a little ironically at that, but nodded again and spoke up. "I think I can see where this is going. Do you know why I can't sleep? I can't sleep because there are five words running over and over through my head, and I don't know what to make of them, or how they make me feel…"  
  
" 'That's the Dragon I love'?" Xellos repeated softly.  
  
Filia blushed to the tips of her ears and looked away.  
  
"I did mean them, you know."  
  
Filia's head snapped up and he smiled gently at her.  
  
"Unlike most Mazoku, I am capable of understanding what the words mean, and I meant them quite sincerely." He stroked her cheek gently. "I've been thinking about you, and what your plans might be,now that this is all over. I know you plan to raise Val, but wherewill you live?"  
  
"Not with other Ryuuzoku. My clan is dead, and I have no desire to sink myself into another clan's politics. I think I will hide myself among the Humans and raise him there."  
  
"Then if you will allow me, I'd like to help you raise him."  
  
Filia giggled a desperate little giggle. "I tried so hard tohate you. I tried, I really did. How come it never worked? How can you keep making me love you even when I know you've done evilthings?" She began to shake and sob, and Xellos enfolded hercarefully into his arms.  
  
"I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair, "it's late, and you're tired, and I've just dumped all this onto you all at once. I should go and let you think about this…"  
  
His words were stopped by Filia's arms wrapping tightly around him.  
  
"You don't want me to go?"  
  
Filia shook her head.  
  
"Alright then, I'll stay," Xellos promised, stroking her hair. "You know I can't guarantee I'll be at your side every second, but my Master has promised to lighten my workload andmake exceptions for me as much as she can…"  
  
"I wouldn't expect any more than that," Filia said softly. "Just so long as you give me a little warning, don't just upand disappear on me."  
  
"Would I do that?" Xell teased Filia gently.  
  
Filia giggled. "Yes, you would, and you know it."  
  
"Alright, I would. I promise I won't do that to you."  
  
"Good," Filia sighed. She snuggled in closer to him and yawned, then promptly fell asleep.  
  
Xell giggled. "I told you you should get some sleep," he admonished her lovingly. He slipped the teacup out of her hand, slid one arm under her legs, and carried her to bed. After tucking her in, he kissed her forehead and sat in a chair to watch her sleep.  
  



End file.
